Hey, You… Yeah, You…You’re a Superstar, You’re Glorious, and You Can Touch the Sky
My mama told me when I was young, “We are all born superstars”
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir
“There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are”
She said “’Cause He made you perfect, babe”
Born This Way
Lady Gaga
Most of us are familiar with these Lady Gaga lyrics, which often inspire shamelessly letting loose with our finest dance moves in the middle of our living rooms. In many circles, Gaga’s record-breaking song has become an anthem to self-acceptance and loving who you are (as well as whoever you want). Accepting yourself — strengths, challenges, beauty marks, warts, and all — is the foundation of a strong mental wellbeing, yet for many, it’s nearly impossible to achieve. Why?
The reason, arguably, is that we live in a world that is increasingly obsessed with a singular definition of perfection. Whether it’s presenting a flawless (edited) image of oneself on social media; outspending one’s earnings to own the most up-to-date symbols of the 21st-Century “American Dream”; or striving to make zero mistakes (and, therefore, having to own up and maybe even — *gasp* — apologize), the pressure to be perfect feels relentless. Accepting that we are all — each and every one of us — flawed human beings is practically viewed as counterculture in our society. But it’s critical to our mental health, both individually and collectively.
What Is Self-Acceptance?
Harvard Medical School defines self-acceptance as “an individual’s acceptance of all of his/her attributes, positive or negative.” It includes not only accepting one’s body and appearance, but also exhibiting resilience in the face of criticism and believing in one’s abilities and capabilities. Achieving self-acceptance is challenging, but it can be especially difficult for those of us who had a tough childhood or are members of a marginalized community. (For those who may not be among these groups, consider how hard it would be to accept yourself when the world constantly sends you messages that you are “less than.”)
May is Mental Health Month, which presents an ideal opportunity to learn more about self-acceptance and discover ways to both manifest and maintain it.
“We are not born feeling inadequate,” reads a blog on the National Alliance on Mental Illness’s web site. “Life’s experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of ways.” The article, in which a counselor describes how she helped an otherwise successful father explore nagging feelings of inadequacy, states that one way to build self-acceptance is to address internalized, negative beliefs separately from our identity. In other words, acknowledge that our feelings of “not enough” were learned — they are not truly who we are.
Other tips from the article include:
- Connect to the part of us that feels bad and offer it compassion, like we would for our child, partner, colleague, friend, or pet.
- Practice deep belly breathing to calm our nervous system.
- Exercise to generate positive feelings and create a sense of empowerment and accomplishment.
- Remember the phrase: “Compare and Despair!” Catch yourself making comparisons to others and STOP!
Need help on your journey to self-acceptance? SimplaFYI is here to help you recognize that you are #morethanenough, just as you are. Our vetted practitioners include certified health coaches, meditation, yoga, nutrition, massage, reiki practitioners, and more. We are standing by, ready to support you on your path to self-love. Not a Member? Join here.
And to further support you in your journey, be sure to add Lady Gaga’s anthem and the following self-affirming classics to your playlist!
I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for me
For we are glorious!
This Is Me
Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble
Come now, come dry your eyes
You know you a star, you can touch the sky!
Good as Hell
Lizzo
Thanks to Carol Swanson, a blog writer in the wellbeing and financial sectors. Carol can be reached [email protected].
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