Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Han asserted, “The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love.” What if we thought of every glance, pause or listening ear as an act towards feeding someone’s spirit. 

Psychology supports this train of thought. Research in attachment theory and child development consistently shows that focused and responsive attention is foundational to healthy emotional development…and it doesn’t stop in childhood! Adults also thrive when they feel seen and heard. Still, many of us move through our days half listening, multitasking our way through moments begging for more presence. And this is not because we don’t care – it is often because we are running on empty ourselves! 

So how do we replenish our attention so it becomes nourishing again? Make a concentrated effort to tune back into your day. A few minutes of mindful breathing – or listening – can serve as a grounding break from everyday monotony. We love a quick lunch-break stretch outside…an opportunity to swing our arms and sway, feeling October’s cool breeze and listening to the rustling of the crisping leaves on the ground and in the trees. 

Re-engage. When with those you love, turn off your phone, make eye contact, and listen without interrupting or wait to speak. Focused attention begins with undivided presence. If you’re drifting, call it out! Apologize and suggest a meaningful activity together, recommitment can start small. Try something simple like a walk or meal without screens. 

Just as our bodies need fuel, our relationships thrive on presence, curiosity, and care. In a world full of noise, choosing to truly see and hear those close to you is one of the best things you can do to nourish yourself and others!

SimplaFYI partners with employers to bring programs & services to enrich employees’ experience and support a culture of caring. Check out our programs and services to discover how we can help.

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Research shows that the way we frame our personal narratives matters. People who view their struggles as turning points for growth often report greater resilience and lower levels of depression (Psychological Science, 2013). Even children who know and share family stories develop higher self-esteem and stronger coping skills, simply by reflecting on and retelling those stories (Emory University, 2010). Stories, it seems, don’t just explain our past, but rather, they shape our health in the present. 

When the story we tell ourselves is one of failure or limitation, we reinforce feelings of stress. Nearly three in four adults report experiencing overwhelming stress at least once in the past month (American Psychological Association, 2023). But reframing those same experiences as lessons rather than endings has been linked to reduced cortisol levels and improved immune function (Frontiers in Psychology, 2016).

The benefits extend into every area of life. Journaling about personal experiences has been shown to improve mood, sleep, and confidence (Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 2005). In the workplace, confidence in one’s abilities correlates strongly with success: employees who believe in themselves set more ambitious goals, persist longer, and perform better overall (Journal of Applied Psychology, 2002). In other words, every time you reflect, write, or reframe your experiences, you’re not only telling your story – you’re shaping your health, wellbeing, and future.

The beauty of it all is that your story isn’t fixed. You get to revise it and every moment of gratitude, acceptance, or understanding can become part of that unfolding narrative. So ask yourself: what story am I telling, and is it one that supports the life and health I want to create?

A few ways to start rewriting your story:

• Reframe setbacks as lessons rather than failures
• Journal to process and reflect on your experiences
• Share your story with others to strengthen connection
• Recognize small healthy habits as part of your larger narrative

Could your team use help reframing their story? SimplaFYI can help. Check out our programs and services to discover how.

The post What’s Your Story and How Are You Telling it? first appeared on Simplafyi.

Research shows that giving activates brain regions associated with pleasure and social connection, triggering the release of dopamine and oxytocin, which can increase feelings of happiness (Dunn et al., 2008). Additionally, acts of kindness have been shown to lower cortisol levels, helping to reduce stress and promote emotional well-being (Post et al., 2008). Giving also fosters stronger social bonds, which are linked to longer, healthier lives (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010). Even more, volunteering has been associated with better immune function and a 24% lower risk of death, highlighting the profound impact that giving can have on physical health (Post, 2013).

Non Material Gifts Include…

Your Time
Whether volunteering or simply being present for a loved one, your time is invaluable. Even an hour can make a difference!

A Listening Ear
Truly listening to someone can strengthen your bond and enhance emotional connection.

Emotional Support
A thoughtful message or check-in can help someone feel valued and boost your own mood in the process.

Your Knowledge
Share your skills to empower others—whether through mentoring or teaching, your knowledge can make a lasting impact.

Acts of Kindness
Small, spontaneous acts—like a smile or holding the door—can create a ripple effect of positivity in your community.

Play a game, host a movie night, bake cookies together, take a walk after dark and admire the lights, do yoga together – so many options to consider.

When we give non-material gifts, we build a more compassionate, connected community. Consider giving this type of gift to someone you love this holiday season 💝

SimplaFYI is a health & wellbeing company focused on integrative lifestyle care. We partner with vetted practitioners of acupuncture, functional medicine, chiropractic, massage, meditation, health coaches, nutrition, tai chi, yoga and more. Our programs and services can advance your health and wellbeing. Discover them here.

Sources:

• Dunn, E. W., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687-1688.
• Post, S. G. (2008). Altruism, happiness, and health: It’s good to be good. International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 15(4), 270-281.
• Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLOS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.
• Brown, S. L., et al. (2003). Altruism and mortality in a prospective study of elderly individuals. American Journal of Epidemiology, 157(9), 832-841.

Post, S. G. (2013). The science of giving: Evidence from research on altruism, happiness, and health. JAMA Internal Medicine, 173(13), 1167-1168.

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My mama told me when I was young, “We are all born superstars”
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir
“There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are”

She said “’Cause He made you perfect, babe”

Born This Way

Lady Gaga

Most of us are familiar with these Lady Gaga lyrics, which often inspire shamelessly letting loose with our finest dance moves in the middle of our living rooms. In many circles, Gaga’s record-breaking song has become an anthem to self-acceptance and loving who you are (as well as whoever you want). Accepting yourself — strengths, challenges, beauty marks, warts, and all — is the foundation of a strong mental wellbeing, yet for many, it’s nearly impossible to achieve. Why?

The reason, arguably, is that we live in a world that is increasingly obsessed with a singular definition of perfection. Whether it’s presenting a flawless (edited) image of oneself on social media; outspending one’s earnings to own the most up-to-date symbols of the 21^st-Century “American Dream”; or striving to make zero mistakes (and, therefore, having to own up and maybe even — *gasp* — apologize), the pressure to be perfect feels relentless. Accepting that we are all — each and every one of us — flawed human beings is practically viewed as counterculture in our society. But it’s critical to our mental health, both individually and collectively.

What Is Self-Acceptance?

Harvard Medical School defines self-acceptance as “an individual’s acceptance of all of his/her attributes, positive or negative.” It includes not only accepting one’s body and appearance, but also exhibiting resilience in the face of criticism and believing in one’s abilities and capabilities. Achieving self-acceptance is challenging, but it can be especially difficult for those of us who had a tough childhood or are members of a marginalized community. (For those who may not be among these groups, consider how hard it would be to accept yourself when the world constantly sends you messages that you are “less than.”)

May is Mental Health Month, which presents an ideal opportunity to learn more about self-acceptance and discover ways to both manifest and maintain it. 

“We are not born feeling inadequate,” reads a blog on the National Alliance on Mental Illness’s web site. “Life’s experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of ways.” The article, in which a counselor describes how she helped an otherwise successful father explore nagging feelings of inadequacy, states that one way to build self-acceptance is to address internalized, negative beliefs separately from our identity. In other words, acknowledge that our feelings of “not enough” were learned — they are not truly who we are. 

Other tips from the article include: 

• Connect to the part of us that feels bad and offer it compassion, like we would for our child, partner, colleague, friend, or pet.
• Practice deep belly breathing to calm our nervous system.
• Exercise to generate positive feelings and create a sense of empowerment and accomplishment.
• Remember the phrase: “Compare and Despair!” Catch yourself making comparisons to others and STOP! 

Need help on your journey to self-acceptance? SimplaFYI is here to help you recognize that you are #morethanenough, just as you are. Our vetted practitioners include certified health coaches, meditation, yoga, nutrition, massage, reiki practitioners, and more. We are standing by, ready to support you on your path to self-love. Not a Member? Join here.

And to further support you in your journey, be sure to add Lady Gaga’s anthem and the following self-affirming classics to your playlist!

I won’t let them break me down to dust

I know that there’s a place for me

For we are glorious!

This Is Me 

Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble

Come now, come dry your eyes

You know you a star, you can touch the sky!

Good as Hell 

Lizzo

Thanks to Carol Swanson, a blog writer in the wellbeing and financial sectors. Carol can be reached ceswansoneditorialservices@gmail.com.

The post Accept Your Beautiful Self first appeared on Simplafyi.

This spring, whether your creative goal is a native garden for pollinators, pots of herbs on your balcony or patio, a patch of fresh vegetables, or a perfectly manicured lawn, consider pausing to offer a moment of gratitude for this one activity that brings so many health benefits.

Physical exercise

Gardening and yard work can be a full-body workout. The continuous lifting, pulling, bending, stretching, and balancing required to keep nature in check offer all-in-one benefits of strength training, cardio, and flexibility workouts. A plus is that gardening and yard work exercises can be modified to accommodate the needs of young and old alike. For tips on how to make your landscaping chores more beneficial and less painful, check out GardenFit on your local PBS network.

Vitamin D

Working outside in the sunshine brings a much-needed dose of Vitamin D to the system. Not only does Vitamin D contribute to bone and muscle health, it has also been shown to reduce cancer cell growth, stimulate the immune system, and reduce inflammation. But beware of too much of a good thing: Limit the time spent in direct sunlight without sunscreen and a hat.

Stress reduction 

The physical exercise and sunshine that gardening and yard work afford also provide positive mental health benefits. These activities have been shown to promote mindfulness — the state of forgetting past and future worries and concentrating fully on the present — and even “flow state,” which psychologists describe as a mental state in which an individual is completely absorbed by the task at hand, so much so that they lose track of time and think of little else but their activity. One study found that working in the yard or garden just two to three days a week results in better well-being and lower stress levels overall. 

You don’t need the talent of Monet or Renoir to be a master of your own natural world. Just a little dirt, a trowel, some seeds or seedlings, and a pot or a small patch of land can lead to months of improved health and happiness. If you need a good stretch before or after your outdoor fun, check out SimplaFYI’s vetted practitioners. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates.

Happy digging!

Carol Swanson is a blog writer specializing in health & wellbeing and finance. She can be reached at: cegoodswan@gmail.com. Carol also provided this beautiful image from her outdoor canvas. 

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In the United States, we are encouraged to set goals and pursue them, make lists and complete them. Achievement-chasing is a key trait in American culture, and it’s especially apparent this time of year when the pressure is on to be better, do better, and achieve even more. However, a new year is also a perfect opportunity to slow down … breathe deep … then reflect, reset, and renew.

Reflect 

In his book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, spiritual teacher Echkart Tolle wrote, “Acknowledging the good that you already have in life is the foundation for all abundance.”¹ In the cold, dark days of January, it can be easy to dwell on how life could be better or different somehow. Why not, instead, spend some time observing what’s good in your life right now? Just simply notice. 

What in your home, workplace, and community do you appreciate the most? What makes you content, brings you peace, or inspires happiness? It could be playing a game with a child, losing yourself in an engaging novel, laughing with a colleague at the water cooler, slurping a hot bowl of soup, or sharing a warm hug with a beloved person or pet. Whatever it is, take some time to reflect on it and feel the gratitude deeply, reveling in the knowledge that it’s already a wonderful part of your life.

Reset 

With those positive images at the forefront of your mind, next begin to think about how to reset for the new year. In recent years, life coaches and others have encouraged a shift in focus from making resolutions to setting intentions. While a resolution is a narrow, specific objective such as losing weight or spending less money, an intention is a broader guiding principle used to influence daily decision-making. Examples include:

• Exhibiting more optimism
• Striving to live a healthier lifestyle
• Strengthening relationships
• Managing money according to values

Because intentions are less defined, they tend not to provoke feelings of failure when a specific goal isn’t reached. Action plans are still important, but intentions are more about the journey than the result. For example, there are many ways to live a healthier lifestyle, so if changing your diet isn’t something you want to do right now, you might start with an intention to move more on a daily basis, which might include walking the dog, taking a dance class, or playing tennis with a friend. 

Writing down a few intentions for 2023 is an ideal way to reset both mind and body, preparing yourself to receive more good things to come.

Renew

Finally, renew your commitment to building on what you already have. Continue reflecting on and doing all the things that bring you peace and joy now and use your intentions to build upon this foundation. Each year, this cycle of reflection, reset, and renewal will continue building upon itself to nurture greater and deeper feelings of abundance.

Cheers to new beginnings!

Need some help getting started? SimplaFYI has vetted practitioners who can guide you. The provide preferred pricing to SimplaFYI Members. Start your trial today. Are you a Practitioner interested in learning more? www.simplafyi.com/practitioners

1 Goodreads

Carol Swanson contributes to wellbeing blogs in the health and financial sectors. Carol can be reached at: cegoodswan@gmail.com. Carol also gets credit for this lovely image.

The post Abundance in the New Year first appeared on Simplafyi.

It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to grieve. And it’s ok to be angry with the world. It’s also ok to give space to these difficult emotions and focus on self-care whenever you need to, even during the holiday season.

“The holidays can bring up so much sadness due to the loss of loved one or other significant losses. It’s important to pay attention to what we are feeling to help with this process. At times it’s important to spend some time alone to help release through crying, journaling, etc. At other times it’s good to be around others who love and support us to help us remember we are not alone.” says Susan Lataille, Certified Master Grief Coach, Integrative Health Coach and creator of the book, Shining a Light on Grief, a compilation in which Susan and 10 other women share their journeys through grief.

It can be comforting to realize we are not alone. According to McLean Hospital’s Guide to Managing Mental Health Around the Holidays, 38% of respondents to a recent survey said their stress levels increased during the holiday season, 64% of those living with a mental illness felt that their conditioned worsened during the holidays, and 9% of people in the northern U.S experience seasonal affected disorder due to longer hours of darkness this time of year. Psychology Today reports that at least 35% of people don’t look forward to the holidays because of the loss of a loved one.

Following are some tips from McLean’s on how to make this time of year a little more manageable:

• Connect with people who feel similarly, or who understand what you’re going through, such as family members, a close friend, therapist, clergy, or coach. 

• Communicate your needs with loved ones to help them understand how they can support you; sometimes people want to help but aren’t sure how. 

• Give yourself permission to skip the celebrations. Do only what brings you peace, even if that means spending quiet time at home. If you do want to celebrate on a smaller scale, take time to outline and schedule your activities, and think about how to firmly yet graciously set comfortable boundaries. You can always get together with people after the holidays if now is not the right time. Communicating your plans with others will help manage expectations. 

• If money challenges are at the root of the discomfort (and let’s face it, money issues can be very stressful, especially this time of year), remind yourself that this is the season of giving not spending, and that there are many ways to give. In fact, sharing experiences with loved ones or giving sentimental tokens that inspire pleasant thoughts – things that instill happy memories – can be much more valuable over time than “stuff.” Handmade presents offer yet another gift you give yourself: the opportunity to slow down, think about your gift recipients, and use your creativity to produce something out of love – all of which can be spirit-lifting.

Other important self-care steps include getting a little more sleep, eating more fruits and vegetables, drinking less (or no) alcohol and caffeine, and exercising outside at mid-day to get as much natural light as possible. 

Accepting that it’s ok to feel sad this time of year and reminding yourself that many others feel the same are important steps toward healing. And there are many other ways that SimplaFYI can help. From grief and life coaching to yoga, meditation, nutrition counseling, and more, we offer programs and services to make self-care a priority. 

Want to do something for yourself RIGHT NOW? Watch our “How to Stay Grounded This Season” Discover Event. SimplaFYI Community Practitioner, Mary Hammerstein will guide the way. 

The post Holiday Sadness is OK first appeared on Simplafyi.

Letter writing to ease anxiety

One study analyzed the results of three groups of college students seeking treatment for clinical mental health issues, primarily depression and anxiety. One group was asked to write letters of appreciation to one person each week for three weeks, another group was asked to write about negative experiences, and the last group did no writing. All three groups also underwent psychotherapy counseling. 

After four weeks and again at 12 weeks, the group who wrote the letters reported “significantly better” mental health than the other two groups. Researchers attributed this result to the fact that the letter writers focused on positive words and emotions, rather than negative ones. Interestingly, only 23% of the letter writers actually delivered the letter to their intended recipient, indicating that the simple act of recording their grateful thoughts had positive effects.

Additional benefits

A 2021 report by Harvard Health Publishing summarized several studies illustrating additional health-related benefits of gratitude:

• People who practice weekly gratitude journaling may improve their physical as well as mental health.

• Couples who express gratitude to each other may feel better about the relationship and become more comfortable communicating concerns.

• Managers who thank their employees may be surprised to experience a more productive team. 

Different ways to practice

Writing letters, journaling, and verbal communication are just some of the ways to express gratitude. Others include meditating, praying, giving handmade or store-bought gifts or cards, sending flowers, or simply thinking about someone or something you’re grateful for.

Inner peace, better physical health, stronger relationships, and a more engaged workforce – take time this holiday season to see how cultivating a practice of gratitude might benefit your life.

Need help getting started? SimplaFYI has vetted health coaches, meditation and mindfulness teachers and a host of other practitioners who can guide you. SimplaFYI members receive preferred pricing from our vetted community of practitioners. Not a Member? Join today!

Image and Blog by: Carol Swanson, a Health & Wellbeing writer. She can be reached at cegoodswan@gmail.com.

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